So your significant other wants to take a break…..
A break? What does that even mean??! … The only break anyone should endure is a Spring Break where girls can run a muck in a sexy swimsuit. But such is life and we are here to give you the hard, ugly yet comical side of what is really means to “take a break”.
It’s like that episode of Friends that I will never forget and always quote. The one where Ross and Rachel were on a break and Ross sleeps with someone else (copygirl). Well, Rachel seems to think that was a jerk move, while Ross continuously defends himself by mostly yelling….
So who’s right? Which side do you fall on? What does being on a break really mean? First, let’s discuss the difference between the two.
“A break” normally indicates the relationship is off temporarily, with the possibility of getting back together.
“Breaking up” is a definite ending with no indication that you will get back together . Therefore, a “break” is more unfair than “breaking up” because it’s less clear and creates loads more confusion for one or more parties.
For some, a break is just a very lazy way of easing into a full time breakup. They don’t want to call it quits 100% because the dating world is scary and they are afraid to sever ties completely. So when you’re picking up on those vibes, don’t immediately go into…
Sometimes taking a break can help revitalize a relationship back to its full potential. We want to give you a quick rundown of what being on a break really means so that you’re not stuck in relationship limbo with your heart, head, and body in jeopardy…
This just might help you save your relationship.
Taking a break with your significant other should open your days and nights dramatically. But before you get scared and think you’re going to be alone forever, start thinking about the positives! You’re going to have time again to work on yourself. To do the things you want, which will make you a happier person in the long run. Things like reading the book that is collecting dust, or going back to the gym. Or enjoying eating snacks without having to share…
If your significant other suggests this, then we may have a bigger problem here. If sleeping with other people is on the table then perhaps an actual breakup is the best answer.
You don’t want to be sitting home wondering who they’re with or who they’re doing while you’re trying to hold on to your relationship with both hands. Communicate what the break truly is about in order to figure out if a breakup is a much better option.
Spending Time Together
So you’re trying this break thing out, yet you still go over to each other’s houses and cook dinner. You still text all day and call on your way home from work. You still spend most night’s at each other’s places and cuddle the heck out of one another…..
Doing these things together defeats the purpose of a break. If this is the case then ask why exactly the break is needed? Is it so one of you can talk to other people without a guilty conscience but still have the other around for comfort?
Make sure you are using this break to your full potential and spending time alone or with friends. Your girlfriends will be the best sounding board for you to get the advice you need and also they can be your best distraction.
Get to know yourself again on a personal level. Doing your own thing during a break, as well as during the relationship, is a healthy thing. You’re probably much cooler than you think.
Sleeping with Each Other
If he is trying to convince you that it’s okay to sleep with other people and explore other options, BUT you can still sleep with each other…..
This just makes the break messy and ultimately allows him a certain freedom that normally is a terrible idea. If he wants to maintain loyalty to you and you only, then that is worth discussing and means he is looking to mend the relationship along the way. However, if he gets comfortable doing his own thing then hitting you up at the end of the night when he strikes out with other ladies, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Setting a Time Limit
When most couples take a break they should set a time limit. A week, few weeks, a month. Just so that there is a time when you two can reconvene and figure out if the break did its job. Sort out your feelings and see if in that time frame you were a happier person alone or if you want to give the relationship another go. Chances are, if the break was your idea in the first place, you may have realized that you make yourself happier than your guy ever did….
And just remember there are plenty of fish in the sea. It’s okay to wait for the right guy to come around. The kind of guy that taking a break with would be unfathomable. You’ll know him when you meet him. And he’ll see you from a mile away because you’ll be all like…
Always make sure that when you are taking a break, set the rules ahead of time. Communicate and be open that way there is little room for a Ross and Rachel moment. And always remember, there is nothing wrong with not settling for anything less that what you truly want.