Breakups are no joke whether they’re amicable or not. We’ve all been there at some point in time. Whether it was out-of-nowhere or a slow progression into demise, we’ve all struggled having to go through the motions of getting through a breakup. And girl, it ain’t easy.
So let’s talk about getting over the breakup, which may seem like the hardest part. The loss of your relationship can bring on insane heartache and stress. But if you’re looking for some help getting through it and want some suggestions about how to make it a little easier, here we go…
1. Don’t Rethink Your Decision
This is pretty crucial. So many times we make a decision and then immediately rethink it once it gets hard or once we keep reminding ourselves of the good times rather than all the crappy, sad times.
Don’t rethink your decision! Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment. There is a reason why you made this decision in the first place. Unless you broke up out of anger only and didn’t think it through the first time, don’t backtrack.
2. Maintain Your Distance
Regardless if you and your ex decided beings friends will work, don’t start the breakup out this way. What this means is no phone calls, no texts, no going over to each other’s parent’s house for Christmas. Keep your space so that things don’t get any messier because emotions are running high.
Get comfortable with being alone and on your own so that you don’t go running back at the first time he sends you a winky face emoji.
3. Delete From Social Media
This one is my go-to for getting over a breakup. As harsh as it sounds, I will quit you cold turkey and delete you from every platform in my life. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, text history — poof, dunzo.
I do this for a few reasons. One, I’m the type of person that can purposely not think about things. Outta sight, outta mind totally works in my favor. I don’t want to be scrolling through Instagram and then BAM get hit with some sappy quote about missing someone that you posted and then have to delete MY Instagram. Oh no no. So take a leave of absence until your heart heals fully. Besides, you also don’t want to get any of those revenge pics of him out at the bar loving life. So temporarily, bye Felicia.
4. Cope Properly
I stress the importance of this one because damn, it’s crucial to moving on and finding someone in the future. When you don’t handle a breakup properly, it can damage you for months, even years to come. It can even affect your future relationships because you didn’t deal.
So remember the following five words:
It’s OKAY to be sad.
It’s okay to wallow for a little bit and be that mopey girl. It’s okay to drink alone at home and watch garbage TV.
You don’t have to be strong all the time and put on a brave face. Cry, and be sad, and feel it. Make sure you feel it. Embrace it. Accept it. Then you can move on.
5. Girlfriends, All Day
Your girlfriends are the greatest lifelines in moving through this breakup. They’re the ones who will sit and bash your ex with you even though they kinda liked him. They will be the ones to take you dancing even if they have to dress you and drag you out. They’re the ones who will comfort you when you cry, and then offer to set his car on fire.
6. Remove Memory Triggers & Get Your Stuff Back
Now’s the time to box up all the stuff he left at your place. Everything that will send you into an emotional tailspin, get it in a box and seal that thing up. You don’t have to throw it away, or dramatically leave it on his porch. Instead, just put everything in a box so that we you are ready to see him, you can return it all maturely. Also, make sure he gives you your stuff back. There’s no need for him to hold onto things that belong to you, especially the women’s swimwear he bought you.
7. Stop Telling “The Story”
When you constantly tell your friends, your neighbors, your bank teller, and whomever mis-dials you, “the story” of how you broke up or what happened or how badly you were hurt, you’re just reliving the memories over and over again. Think of “the story” of the breakup or the end of your relationship like a weighted vest. Every time you tell it, you’re just putting the vest back on. That’s why you need to leave the heaviness behind.
The last and most important step is accepting the circumstances and moving forward. Many of us are stuck in denial about the situation or hold on to that strand of hope, which leaves us stuck for a very long time. Accept the end, and embrace it.
After all of these steps, we hope you’re in a much better place. So from here on out you need to get up: