Romantic breakups aren’t the only breakups that can sting. A friend break up is much like any other breakup with a significant other except only that it’s WORSE. That’s right, I said it. When you and a close friend call it quits, it can be much harder to get through than you expect. Who else can you send that photo of your new designer bikini and get their honest opinion? Or better yet, who else will rock the matching Hipanema bracelets with you? Whether it’s distance, or the fact that the two of you have grown apart, breaking up with your friend can be detrimental to your spirit and your soul. Losing your soundboard and your go-to person can take a serious toll. How to you bounce back?
We’re here to give you a few solids tips on how to move on or move forward and regain yourself.
Relationships, whether romantic or not, can be draining. We’ve all had those friends who require so much attention and time that it becomes hard to focus on yourself.
Make sure the problems are insurmountable before cutting off ties. Understand that there is a reason this friendship did not work. Regardless of whose fault it is, there is an explanation as to why you two won’t be friends anymore. And most likely a good explanation. Friendships don’t just end for the heck of it. See if the relationship is salvageable and figure out if the reason the friendship did not work is something that you can eventually forgive.
It’s OK to walk away. Often times we hang on to friendships for the longevity of it, but the friendship no longer serves a purpose to better ourselves. If you find yourself maintaining a friendship just out of habit, then maybe you should evaluate why you have been friends for so long. See if that friendship is worth the effort you expend maintaining it. Remember, if it isn’t increasing you, it may just be decreasing you.
It’s also OK to take a break. If you’ve been BFFs for someone to the point of excess (binge watching seasons of TV shows on each other’s couches while cooking together — every night) then maybe you need a breather. If you spend so much time together that you’ve been bickering, or getting sick of one another, there is nothing wrong with taking some space and becoming your own person again. Just like any relationship, space is key. You don’t want to rely on someone else so heavily that you lose yourself in the process.
Wish them well. If you are going your separate ways, remember that you most likely share a group of friends, or a scattered few here and there. Despite the fact there may be very hard feelings, don’t let it infect your other friendships. It may be hard to wish someone well when you’re still hurt or angry, but that will all pass. Time will heal those wounds and you don’t want to be left with your foot in your mouth in case your friendships mends over time.
“Wish her light and love and let her go.” This was one of my favorite lines from the novel Eat. Pray. Love. Though it may be difficult, acceptance is one of the keys to getting over a friendship or relationship. Once you accept the circumstances, rather than placing blame on whichever party, it is much easier to find happiness. Holding on to grudges is like bringing 3 full suitcases on a weekend retreat — it’s just heavy and serves no purpose. Accept the fact that sometimes things just don’t work out, and move on. Accept. Forgive. Let go.
Hopefully these tips helped. Share your thoughts below or your stories of how you survived a friend breakup.