Summer is practically over (we’re still holding on to the shreds of humidity left, don’t judge us) and that may mean the end for a lot of summer romances. We always love new relationships that start in the summertime; feelings are new and fresh, the possibilities are endless, plus you get to show off your summer dresses for the next three months to your new beau. But then when the fall rolls around, real life resumes and those feelings of love and lust may have turned south real fast.
Love means never having to hang up your Agua Bendita Swimwear, if you catch my drift.
But we get it, relationships are hard, and when it’s time to let go, then it is time.
If you do break up, just …..try not to use the whole “we should still be friends” line. It’s bullsh*t and in fact, kind of insulting. Don’t be that girl.
1. First things first, do not break up for the wrong reasons. Don’t break up with your significant other (we’ll use S.O. from now on because my fingers are sleepy) just because you want them to chase after you or because you want attention. This never works the way you need it to, and in fact, if you’re frequently doing this, then there will be ZERO security in your relationship and ZERO trust that you won’t just randomly break up with them one day because you’re feeling vulnerable.
2. Another pretty terrible reason to break up with your S.O. is when there is the possibility of someone else in the picture. Sure, if you’re unhappy in your relationship it’s easy to find someone else, heck ANYONE else more appealing. But if you are breaking up with your long term S.O. because there is “potential” with someone else, don’t do it for this reason alone. Comparatively, if your S.O. isn’t making you happy, then it’s easy to put any other friend that treats you well on a pedestal. But don’t romanticize this person more than your S.O. because it’s not honest and will just create a huge mess.
3. Ask yourself if you’re truly happy? Are you being fulfilled in the key areas of your life with your S.O.? If not….is this something you can work on together? If the answer is no to all of the above, then girl, you know what’s up..
4. Attraction — is it still there? Granted, we’re sure it isn’t like the beginning of the relationship where you couldn’t keep your hands off each other, but are you still attracted to your S.O.? Is the affection still there? Do you still care if they find you attractive? Have you packed up all those beach dresses that your S.O. loved when you wore?
Attraction is a huge component of every relationship, and yes it fluctuates through the years, but if at the end of the day you aren’t attracted any longer to your S.O. then there may be trouble a’brewin.
5. If you think you’re being lied to or cheated on — huge sign, get the heck outta there.
Your intuition really never fails. So if you think something is up, there is a reeeally good chance there is. And nobody should live in that cloud of uncertainty. If you can’t fully trust your S.O. and if you’re constantly sitting in fear or doubt, then find someone who won’t put you through that unnecessary ringer. Life is way to short for that garbage.
6. Even the friendship is gone. One of the coolest parts in being with someone long term is that they become your best friend. You spend so much time together and confide in one another, it’s really hard not to. But when you feel like you’re ONLY friends, or worse, NOT friends at all, then you have a huge issue.
7. The fighting is real. If you guys are fighting constantly, even over the stupidest things, then it’s definitely time for a break. Especially if during your fights there are low blows being unleashed. Nobody should ever hit below the belt metaphorically speaking, because once you say something, it’s impossible to “un-say” it. So, if your S.O. is using personal information to hurt you or insult you….
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
8. You no longer picture a future together. If you can no longer look down the road and see your S.O. as a part of your life romantically, then that’s a huge issue. When you’re in the right relationship, or a happy relationship for that matter, you should be excited about the future with your S.O. It should be a happy thought when you picture your life together, or potentially getting married. If the future you two have planned is slowly getting mentally deleted, then we definitely have a problem.
Always remember, it’s OKAY to take time apart. It’s even more OKAY to be alone. There is nothing wrong with taking time to figure yourself out again and remember what it takes to make you happy. Life is too short to stay in unhealthy or unhappy relationships. Love is hard, but that doesn’t mean you need to give up.