Let’s be honest, dating can be a downright mess sometimes. There are so many rules and regulations it’s like going through security in a federal prison. Don’t sleep with him on the first date! Don’t play games! Don’t send him photos of you in your triangle swimsuit top! Don’t Photoshop your Facebook profile pictures together to represent your future children and give it to him in an “I Miss You Already” Hallmark card at the end of the date! We just can’t keep up nowadays, and the pressure! My goodness. And then there is the five date rule. You know the one. Where you don’t sleep with the guy until after five dates. Legitimate dates. A Google+ hangout doesn’t count.

Could this be a revelatory idea? Waiting patiently through five dates in order to lengthen the dating phase before giving up the goods? Personally, we don’t get down with the five date rule and here’s exactly why….

When most girls are enacting said five date rule, they tend to be extremely proud of themselves for having such willpower. Overly proud. Like the girl you know that recently got into fitness and all she does is post pictures of the oatmeal she has for breakfast and a sweaty duck face whilst on the treadmill? The problem with this type of pride is that girls like to share it with the world, and their potential dates. Don’t brag that you’re making him wait for sex. When a guy hears this, it doesn’t make him think “aw, shucks I guess I’ll just throw in the towel now.” Instead, he does something like this….You’ve officially laid down the gauntlet. Then your dating experience turns into a well-crafted game to the guy. While you’re growing feelings for him, he is plotting in his head the end result. And then after the fifth date when he gets the gold and mentally high-fives himself, he moves on. Challenge accepted, challenge conquered.
Sex shouldn’t require a timeline. It shouldn’t be orchestrated or calculated like when you have to pay your rent. When things feel right, they usually are. Sex should be fun and exciting, not like planning a visit to the dentist. You should have enough intuition to know when is the right time to go for it. And if it doesn’t feel right at all, then maybe that’s one of those damn red flags we keep hearing about.

Also, what happens when the 5th date rolls around and you’re still not ready? Do you have to succumb to the pressure of the rule simply because time has lapsed? Absolutely not. Remember that you are in charge, you make your own decisions and nobody can influence that. Even if on the fifth date he rents an inflatable movie screen in his backyard to watch The Notebook and serves homemade Eggplant Rollatini, chocolate truffles, and champagne (sounds like something Joseph Gordon Levitt would do). If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Plain and simple.

This rule is primarily meant for the guy who is only in it for sex anyway. It’s to avoid getting hurt when he moves on after getting what he wants. There are other ways to spot this type of guy rather than enforcing dating restrictions. Ways to spot this guy:

1)      He only contacts you between the hours of 12am-3am with so many typos in his texts it somewhat resembles hieroglyphics.

2)      He doesn’t want to talk about his personal life. Nor ask you about yours. And looks very sleepy when you start offering info about yours.

3)      He loses his phone often. Well, more like weekly. Well, to pinpoint it more like from Friday to Monday. Then voila, it reappears magically.

So be careful out there. The dating world is a tricky, tricky place. Trust your instincts rather than any rules.


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