So, you’ve finally hit your 30s. Or at least, you’re hovering dangerously near. Now before you have a pre-birthday breakdown about your age, throwing away all of your sexy swimwear, thinking you should ONLY rock a one piece swimsuit from now on (not true), and pilfering for gray hairs in your bathroom mirror, we have some news. Good news, in fact. There is one thing that should get exponentially better once your cross the threshold into your 30s…..dating!
Everyone who had been single and dating in their 20s understands just how miserable of an experience it can be. Still young and naive and uncompromisingly trusting. You’re dating the “aspiring” skateboard star, or the guy who is going to make video games because he loves playing them so much. Or the guy who wants you to think it’s sweet that his mother still does his laundry.
Guess what, gals? It gets better. Dating in your 30s is a whole new ballgame. Let’s breakdown why dating in your 30s beats your 20s any day.
Gone, Garbage, Gone
Remember all of those games you put up with in your 20s? All the elusive behavior and over-analyzing text messages and crying over him not calling you back? Well all that garbage behavior and expectations will go out the window. There is a certain confidence that you develop heading into your 30s. You’ve discovered your limits with other people (sometimes the hard way) and you grow comfortable enough in your own skin to respect yourself and how much your willing to give and take. The bad and confusing behavior gets weeded out quick. Throw it in the garbage pile and keep truckin.
Seeing Them Through Rose Colored Glasses
In your 20s it took some time to see the flaws in those guys that you should’ve noticed very early on. All of those red flags you rationalized because “he was really sweet” or “he just needs someone to love him”. Then you got stuck in a relationship that was harmful to your health. Overlooking his flaws will go out the window because in your 30s, sh@# gets real. You no longer push his flaws to the side, but instead understand them fully and then leave it up to whether or not you want to put up with them. You don’t need your friends anymore to show you why he’s a loser. You are wise enough to see it from a mile away, and head in the opposite direction.
The Waiting Game
While you’re in your 20s, there may have been a time when you had sex on the first, second, or third date, just because damnit you wanted to. Ain’t no shame in that game. But there comes a point in your 30s where you are interested in taking things slower and actually getting to know the person before things become physical. Sex may become more meaningful rather than impulsive and fun, and taking things slow will heighten any sort of emotion or physicality. Delayed gratification, anyone?
The concept of a “relationship” in your 20s is sometimes lost on certain people. It may be an outdated idea, as most people want to remain single to do whatever the heck they feel like. So you start doing things like “hanging out” or “casually dating” or only calling on your way home from the bar. However, things change when you hit the 30 mark. You may begin to realize that you want stability and consistency rather than complete freedom.
The Emphasis Dissipates
By your 30s, you’ve done a lot of livin’ which is why you ultimately become happier with yourself. You probably have created elements of a happy, stable life and you understand that dating and relationships aren’t the end-all-be-all to life. You can understand that they may add happiness and fulfillment, but you also know that you don’t need to put as much pressure on yourself in finding “the one”. It won’t make or break you, and you’re okay with that.
Being Single is Beyond OK
When you’re in your 20s and your college friends are all marrying their high school sweethearts or finding the loves of their lives at spin class, and you’re sitting at home single as all hell watching reruns of Gilmore Girls and crying into your Nutella, you think it’s the end of the world. But guess what? It keeps going. Once you reach your 30s, there isn’t a hugely negative stigma associated with being single because you are OK with accepting it. You understand that being single doesn’t make you “too picky” or “undateable” but instead it’s a choice, an empowering one at that, because you are strong enough to not settle for any relationship less than amazing.
Happy Dating, everyone.